Chronovisor Wanted

Duties include being in charge of all timelines,
with the desirable applicant able to parse
not only standard Julian-Gregorian conflicts,
but having broad-based experience
in chronohavoc and paradox management—
you will, for example, have to know how
to doctor such meta-disruptive events
as “butterfly swatting” or ancestral retrocide.

Vacation and paid holidays off flexible,
but you may not pre-take or bank more
than a single futurum in advance,
and there is no additional compensation
for astro-temporal corrections. (We are
still litigating the 445 days of 46 BCE.)

Also, if you’re a member of any disjunctive
or collapsed timeline, while we encourage
you to apply, due to previous mishaps,
the background of any candidate named
Schicklgruber or Booth will be given
extra scrutiny.

—Robert Borski